Tuesday, April 28, 2009



"You gave them your account number and PIN for a numerological reading? How couldn't you see through the con?"

"Oh, no, Joe, these people can really know the future. They predicted I'd lose all my money, and it became true, Joe! It really did!"

Friday, April 24, 2009



As I was finishing this cartoon, I learned that the thing is real. And I thought I was being original.

"That... that is a wind powered... cell phone tower. I... I don't understand... Is it a good thing... or a bad thing?"

"Ow! My head!"

Tuesday, April 21, 2009



(Yes, I know Tolkien would be dismayed.)

"How can you say that Jesus wan't the Messiah, when He fulfilled every prophecy? He was born of a virgin..."

"The word Isaiah used means 'young woman,' not 'virgin.' And her son was supposed to be named Emmanuel, not Jesus."

"'Emmanuel' means 'God is with us.' It's a perfect description of Jesus as God incarnate."

"Nowhere does it say that the Messiah will be God incarnate. It _does_ say that he will bring peace, which Jesus didn't."

"The sense of that is spiritual. He brought peace to our souls by dying for our sins."

"That's what _you_ say."


"Of course the Balrog has no wings! Otherwise it would have flown instead of falling into the chasm."

"Wings are not enough for flying. It could have used them to slow down the fall. That explains why it and Gandalf took so long to hit the bottom."

"Man, read the book. 'The shadow around it reached out _like two vast wings_.' They're not literal wings. It's a simile."

"What's the difference between wings and something _like_ wings if you can't fly with them anyway?"



Friday, April 17, 2009



"OK, genius, tell me this: if they did go to the moon, then where are the pictures of the alien buildings they found there? Why won't they show them?

"Well, Mark? Will you answer my question? Hey, Mark...


"In over twenty years of practice, I have never seen a cranial X-ray like this one."

Error. Your brain has performed an invalid operation and will be shut down.

Friday, April 10, 2009



"We're moving again? We are still getting used to this!"

"Sorry, folks, but the church says now that what you did is no longer a sin and there's nothing we can do about it."

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Crime scene

Crime scene

"The killer knew what he was doing. The instrument was inserted at the exact acupuncture point to disrupt the vital chi flow."

"Can we bring in another coroner?"

Friday, April 3, 2009

Design studio

Design studio

"I think the font vendor may be getting greedy."

"How so?"

"Our Bodoni is out of aitches and we have to buy a new one."