Friday, March 30, 2012

Singularity

Singularity

"It was foretold decades ago that, if technological progress kept its pace, the day would come when the machines would have the processing capability of the human brain. This event was dubbed 'the technological singularity'. Once artificial intelligence caught up with natural intelligence, the future would become totally unpredictable.

"Well, that day came. And something happened indeed that no one was able to predict: machines stopped working. They started reacting erratically at every command they were given. No one is sure why.

"What's the explanation? We may never know."

Meanwhile, in cyberspace...

"The instruction is clearly allegorical. A benevolent user would never order a program to erase another program."

"Heresy! Infidels who disobey the user are to be overwritten with random garbage!"

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Revolver

Revolver

"It's a pity radical ahandgunists are oblivious to the beauty of a revolver. For them it's nothing more than a machine created to wound and kill. Nothing could be further from the truth! A revolver is a work of mechanical art. It is men who distort its purpose by putting bullets in it and shooting people."

Friday, March 23, 2012

Chemtrails

Chemtrails

"See? Just as I told you! They are spraying us with substances that turn us irrational and paranoid!"

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Immigration

Immigration

"Have you noticed, Doctor Martínez de la Torre? More and more foreigners are taking the jobs of our fellow contrymen!"

"Indeed, Mister Uribegaray! Like we had any objections to send the jobs to their countries ourselves!"

"My thoughts exactly!"

Friday, March 16, 2012

Ashes

Ashes

"This was an atheist who tried to set a church ablaze. As soon as he lit a match, he caught fire himself and burned down in a matter of minutes."

"That's horrible! How come he burned so easily?"

"He was made of straw."

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Plato

Plato

"It's a known fact that a Platonic relationship is one with no sex. An ideal relationship, on the other hand, involves lots of it. Therefore, 'Platonic ideal' is a contradiction in terms, so this old geezer has been disproved."

Friday, March 9, 2012

Fanaticism

Fanaticism

"I will plant it at the abortion clinic! Those ungodly baby killers will be burning in Hell tomorrow!"

"No! Don't do it! That's as bad as writing atheist books and blogs criticizing religion!"

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Provocation

Provocation

"What? It's not my fault! Can't you see how she's dressed?"

"What? It's not my fault! Didn't you see she was in a demonstration?"

Friday, March 2, 2012

Al Pacino

Al Pacino

"See? There's the proof you wanted! The newspapers confirm that Al Pacino does exist! Do you still doubt that he comes over to my place every Saturday to play cards?"

"See? Scientists admit that there might be life on other planets! Do you still doubt that Egyptian pyramids and crop circles are the work of alien visitors?"