Friday, August 28, 2015

Priest

Priest

"Brethren! Hark my words! The mighty Invisible Hand is punishing us for allowing such sins as as minimum wage and public healthcare to thrive in our midst. We must cast workers into unemployment to placate his wrath so He'll grant us prosperity again!"

Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Monstrous

Monstrous

"Help you? Why should I help you? You people are monsters!"

"I told you! He was bitten by an alien mutant spider!"

"Sure, distance yourself from him. 'No true Scotsman' and all that."

Friday, August 21, 2015

Attention

Attention

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Technology

Technology

"Today's youth is very dependent on these newfangled things. If you were to take their fire and their flint knife from them, they'd just starve."

"If things keep going this way, the species will be soon extinct."

Friday, August 14, 2015

Reincarnation

Reincarnation

"In your previous life you were a star."

"Really?"

"... then the star shed its outer layers, scattering a great amount of chemical elements in the interstellar space..."

"Oooh."

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Anti-robbery

Anti-robbery

"The collections of this museum are impressive. And very valuable!"

"That's right! And we protect them with a very simple measure. This tube of homeopathic pills."

"This is a security measure?"

"And a very effective one! No museum protected by a tube of homeopathic pills has ever been robed."

"Hum... Are there many of those museums?"

"Oh, sure. Let's start shilling for Big Pharma."

Friday, August 7, 2015

Struggle

Struggle

"You're poor because you don't try hard enough. Just look at me. I worked hard, I made sacrifices, I strived for what I wanted, and in the end I reached my goal of being born into a rich family."

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Apology

Apology

"Now, let's not blow this out of proportion. After all, it wasn't my intention to drop a piano on your head when I let go of the rope. I apologize if you felt crushed by a piano."